


No One To Nothing

by Drew-drew (Our_Nom_De_Plume), Our_Nom_De_Plume, WhatFoxSays (Our_Nom_De_Plume)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dreamswap (Undertale), Angst with a Happy Ending, Cannibalism, Heavy Angst, I make Blue Suffer, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Multi, Other, Panic Attacks, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Starvation, Triggers, Vomiting, credits to a LOT of people who have heard me squeal and rave about this fuckin fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Our_Nom_De_Plume/pseuds/Drew-drew, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Our_Nom_De_Plume/pseuds/Our_Nom_De_Plume, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Our_Nom_De_Plume/pseuds/WhatFoxSays
Summary: "Loosing my mindIt never felt so good to be aliveCrucify my nameI never felt more famous then todayWhere I am no oneTo nothing."No One to Nothing, Mother MotherError is innocent. He was just trying to hide from guards and security cameras and figure out how to break Nightmare’s sorry ass from jail, so he didn't know he'd step into a situation and wasn't seeking one either. In any case, it's not something he expects.But this is nothing he could be mistaken with.There'sbloodfuckingeverywhere.
Relationships: if i tell you then its spoilers, just know that it is gay
Comments: 36
Kudos: 54





	1. Loosing My Mind...

**Author's Note:**

> Part of Blue's flashback dream written by Fallenautte!
> 
> Majority of the first confrontation between Blue and Error written by Wyvrnakindsoul!
> 
> Special thanks to Bung0us for the "Error knitting stuff for Blue" idea!
> 
> TW: Panic attacks, self harm, also some starvation but it isn't voluntary, along with self-cannibalization (due to said starvation) and mentions of throw up

Blue, Nightmare and Cross were sitting at the kitchen island/bar, the smell of food long gone since that morning. They were idly chatting about various topics, ranging from Blue asking how Nightmare got Kevin to Cross' cooking disasters. Somehow or another, the conversation went to best and worst days.

“My best and worst day was when I met Ink,” Cross says, "fucking ass took one look at Dream-boy and said 'I don't need you anymore'."

Blue nodded. "Ink's an absolute ass. God, he's like a dog when Dream is around. He slobbers and drools all over him. Metaphorically, I mean."

Cross snorted. "Too late. I now picture Ink as a pitbull."

Shit, now Blue can see that too. "What about you, Nightmare?"

Nightmare shrugged and leaned back on the chair. “My best and worst day was when I was born, ‘cause that's when I met Dream.”

“Dark,” Blue noted.

“Damn right, according to Dream my existence is a mistake,” Nightmare dryly states as he gets up and starts searching a cabinet for something. In particular, nothing about that sentence had something wrong about it. They'd been a colleague, of sorts, to Dream for a while up until since they joined the “dark side”, as Nightmare likes to call it, and Dream is so hellbent on figuring out how to get Nightmare killed it's probably become an obsession of sorts. But the wording, the dry deliverance - it makes their mood drop immediately and they no longer focus on the present.

Blue didn't notice, but Cross, after rolling his eyes and making a joke out of Dream, had asked Blue about his own “best and worst day”, and Nightmare had returned to where he was on the table, staring directly at Blue, eyes narrowing.

_Damn right, according to Dream my existence is a mistake._

_My existence is a mistake._

_Mistake._

_You're such a fucking mistake._

_Nobody would miss you._

_Why do you flatter yourself with ever calling yourself a friend? A lover?_

_You're disgusting._

_Trash._

_Worthless._

Blue broke out of their trance by Nightmare gripping their shoulder, grounding them. Their eyes focused on the scene in front of them. Nightmare looking at them with an unreadable expression, and Cross looking at them with a mix of confusion and worry.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Nightmare's eyes pierced through their soul, as if reading them. Already, a white lie was forming in their mind, about to slip through their teeth before they stopped themself. They looked at Nightmare for a few seconds. Slowly, they lowered their head, shook it, and just plainly said “I'd prefer to not talk about it.”

Cross and Nightmare thankfully left it at that, but it was obvious they worried about Blue. “So, ya still want to mention your best and worst day?” Cross asked, trying and almost succeeding at a very casual tone. Blue though about it for a few seconds. “The best and worst day of my life was when I met Error.”

Both Nightmare and Cross stared at Blue, dumbfounded looks on their face as they silently observed him. Cross was the first to break the 5-second pause with an awkward chuckle. “I would have thought it was Error’s worst day and your best day.”

“Same,” Nightmare mentioned with a hand gesture.

Blue lightly huffed in amusement. “I don't think any different for the first part of that, but it's really the best and worst day.”

“I highly doubt it,” Nightmare chuckled.

“Let me tell you the story,” Blue mentioned. “Maybe you'll understand.”

“Alright then,” Cross leaned back in his chair. Both he and Nightmare said “shoot” at the same time, making them smile at each other mischievously.

Blue cleared their throat. “So, it all started… When I fell in love with Dream.”

Instantly two heads turned to look at him, and Blue couldn't help the laugh that escaped them from the duo's utterly bewildered and shocked expressions. After realization poured into him, Nightmare laughed as well, but Cross frowned. “Not funny!” He exclaimed, but it was hard to take seriously when there was a smile on his own face.

They let their laughter die down. “Okay, okay. No more jokes. It started with something that happened after Error left…”


	2. It Never Felt So Good To Be Alive...

"I hate how dark it gets in the winter," Blue had a note of distaste in his tone. "I mean, I don't _mind_ the dark all that much, but it's so disorienting and depressing that it's this dark so soon." Blue stood by the front door, looking through the clear window, with a cup of hot tea between his hands. For him, it was strange to see the sun disappearing before his eyes.

Another voice replied. "Why are you complaining about the weather? It's normal here in this place," Error murmurs, peeking through the curtains to see the JR castle. The other had gotten onto the winged human's good side, and was staying in JR. He lived just a little far off, in a small cottage just by the treeline to keep himself away from the hustle-and-bustle. "Really? The one afternoon you're free, you use to complain about the weather."

Ah, those snarky remarks. Blue absolutely loves them, like many things of Error's, even his attire - just a navy blue shirt, a scarf and long black pants. The armored human grinned, but soon it fell. "It's such an odd feeling, though."

"What? It being dark out?"

"No, not that," Blue shook his head. "Not seeing you anymore. We used to be so close and now we've barely got time to see each other. I loved joking around with you."

The glitch closed the curtains and looked at Blue peculiarly. "Don't you joke around with Ink though?"

"It's not the same, though."

"Well, whatever you do, don't go too far. You might chase him away."

Blue nods and takes the last sip of ~~his~~ tea, the mug now empty. He looked at the drained bottom with a feeling of disbelief. "Speaking of chasing away... I didn't... I wasn't the reason you left, right?"

_No, no, of course not, Error's your friend!_

His mind had already answered before his friend spoke, so he relaxed and smiled. Error just stared off in the distance, like Blue's words were never spoken. Instead Error took Blue's hand. "While the night's still here, let's go outside."

A soft breeze wafts through the air. It was chilly, but he couldn't feel the wind through his thin long sleeve shirt, which is strange. Shouldn't he have felt the chill? He shrugged it off, train of thought cut off when Error's phone rang, breaking the silence as Error reaches for it.

The caller ID was 'Nightmare', with a picture of Error with somebody. Blue didn't recognize them, but felt like he should. Error groaned. "God, won't he ever stop calling? Fucking mother hen," Error muttered, declining the call, which showed the phone clock. It was midnight.

Something told him that this wasn't right; Something was very off, everything around them was off. Blue shook his head and ignored it; he was with Error. They hadn't seen each other in forever. Ever since Error walked out, ever since Error made new friends, ever since Error screamed that he hated him, and went away like there was nothing between them.

Like there was no memories.

Like he was a stranger to Error.

Blue winced and pushed the thoughts away, but there was a prominent ache in his chest, one he couldn't just ignore. One that persisted, and that ~~he~~ tried his best to hide from himself. It had distracted him, and before he realized it Error was speaking to him.

"I'm sorry, can you please repeat that? I wasn't paying attention."

Error frowned. "Isn't that how it always was? It's Blue before anybody else. It's always Blue first. Do you ever think about others, Blue?"

Blue was taken aback by the harsh reply. "I think of others plenty of times. I think of you a lot too. What's gotten you so sour?"

Error shook his head. "Right, you think of others a lot. You think about how others can give you a gain or an upper hand. You think of how you can manipulate them and put them to the ground," Error hissed, and that feeling came back. That ache in ~~his~~ soul. Something felt weird though. Even when he was hostile towards Blue, Error was never this aggressive.

… Right?

There was a silence between them for a few seconds. Blue took a step closer, almost touching Error but not entirely. "Are you sure we're okay?"

"Well, are we?"

"Don't question me back," Ouch. That came out more hostile than Blue would've liked.

"We are friends, Blue. Just friends. We could have been better friends but it's all just fading because of you."

Blue swallowed. "I didn't chase you away. I know I didn't."

"How so?"

"You said I didn't," Blue stated. "I fucking know I didn't."

"Oh, okay. You know exactly why I left, you know that you do. Doesn't that feel bad, Blue?" Error spat. Blue didn't reply - instead ~~he~~ looked at the darkness of the night sky.

"Maybe," Error continued, "You know you should have not done some things and should've done something else when you had the chance, and it tears you up inside."

Blue swallowed thickly. "I don't know what you're going on about."

Error chuckled, one not full of laughter. "You love me. You fell in love with me when you started taking care of me. Giving me a name? Teaching me how to cook and knit? How obvious could it get?"

Blue took a step back yet Error continued; "You just kept breaking my mind and tearing me apart from the inside out. You loved it when I broke down. Now karma's a bitch. Isn't that pathetic? You fell in love with who you abused. We could have been something."

The armored human's gaze turned into a glare. "Don't you dare think you know me better than I do. It's your fault you left and we couldn't have been something."

"Our fault. Takes two to talk," Error cooed.

"So what if everything you said is true? It wouldn't have changed a thing!"

"Ah, ah, ah, not so fast," Error teased. "But you'll never know. For all you know, I left because I loved you back and I couldn't stand how it felt so one-sided, and only figured out how much of a bad person you were afterwards."

"N-no," Blue stuttered, his aching chest crying out in pain. "You wouldn't have left me because of that."

"Wouldn't I?" Error whispered. Error was too close to Blue for comfort, ironically. He could feel the heat radiating off of Error's body. Error put an arm on Blue’s shoulder and another hand on the back of his head, leaning in close, almost close enough to kiss Blue to whisper; "I did love you, Blue, but it's too late now."

Blue awakened with a gasp.

Damn his sleep apnea.


	3. Crucify My Name...

Silence for a few seconds.

Then a throat clearing. "So, a dream? How's that related to your story?"

"Shut up, Cross. It's related because it's his gay awakening."

Blue couldn't help it. They laughed at that. And really, Nightmare is right. "Please stop. I'm trying to tell a story."

"The story of how Error turned you gay, that is."

Blue waved Nightmare off as they tried to calm their laughter.


	4. I Never Felt More Famous Then Today...

Just like that, Blue opened his eyes and stared at the rather bland room of his. It took him a moment to readjust to his settings, mind fuzzy from lack of oxygen. It all seemed so real, but he could feel the image of Error slipping from his head. It wasn't real.

Blue sighed, exhausted. The image of his dreams had been of the Error he used to know, likely not even the glitch's current looks. But it was still so disorienting, his mind confused on what was real and what was projected, that his sleep-fogged mind decided it would be a good idea to go and check on Error.

He knocked a few times, but met without a reply he opened the door slowly and quietly. The vague, signature scent of Error’s room brought his mind instantly alert, looking around the dark room, still empty as the day it was left. Upon finding not a single soul, his body focused on what it originally was doing before rudely being awakened, a strange exhaustion overtaking him and he wanted to just sleep. So he did. It was early, after all.

\---

_The door slammed shut behind Blue, keys jingling as he put them back into a pocket and shuffled into the kitchen to set down the bags of groceries he'd bought from an Overtale timeline. The house ringed with silence._

_"Error, I'm home!" His voice can't possibly echo in the closed walls of his home, but the silence that greeted him allows his own words to echo inside of his head instead._

_Something felt wrong._

_He looked at the door to the room that is Error's bedroom. It is closed. No soft clacking that indicates Error is knitting. No creaking of the bed._

_The house sounded empty and hollow._

_A mix of emotions brings Blue to tread over to Error's door, and softly knock. He is met with no reply. Disbelief is added to the muddled feelings as he stands there for a few moments, his glitchy eye slowly getting worse by the second. He rests his hand on the doorknob, hesitating for a second - he doesn't want to confirm what he is afraid of._

_The handle clicks lightly as it is unlocked. The door creaks._

_Error's room smells like it usually does - of fabric and a hint of mint and cinnamon, Error's favorite scents. But the room showed no sign of life, or that anyone ever used the bedroom in the first place._

_Almost immediately, tears well up in Blue's eyes, but he takes a deep breath and forces himself not to cry, trying to tell himself that he's jumping to conclusions and misunderstanding something, but he knows. He knows what he did._

_That night, Blue slept completely alone._


	5. Where I Am No One

"Damn," Cross murmurs. "He put you in the doghouse. Just like that," Cross did a weird hand motion Blue didn't recognize.

"Oh," Nightmare mentions "I remember seeing him for the first time in the alley. To me it looked like he'd been living on the streets awhile, but I know for a fact that wasn't the case… umm…" Nightmare rubbed a hand on his neck, messing up his hair a little. "When was that? When he left?"

Blue told him a rough date, and Nightmare snapped his finger. "Okay. Yeah. Not even a week after that I found him."

"So you forget to feed your damn rooster half of the time but you can remember when you met Error?" Cross teased.

Nightmare stuck his tongue out and flipped Cross the bird.


	6. To Nothing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F: Apologies for any grammar mistakes Paw is prone to making, I haven't been able to proof-read this chapter and the ones to come after this one!

Blue shook his head as he looked at the time, realizing he'd overslept a little bit and his alarm didn't wake him. Instead of immediately getting up to do his morning routine, he thought about what he dreamt about. And it made him realize that today, no matter what he does, is going to be one of those days.

He procrastinates getting up until he'd know for certain he'd regret it. Even then his sluggish pace at getting basic things done makes it feel like the time is ticking faster. Eventually he gets his clothes on, does his basic bathroom stuff and eat something light, and heads outside.

As he closes the door - he shouldn't be taking this long. He'd managed to convince Dream to have him work a job for a generous amount of cash, and he shouldn't head out too late in the day, emotions be damned. Blue swallowed the lump in his throat, wiped the burning tears and took a deep breath.

\---

"Ouch," Blue murmurs under his breath, shaking his hand to hopefully relieve the shocked area, but that did nothing to relieve the buzzing energy underneath his skin. He was too careless in weaving the wires, hooking up various devices, messing with outlets. It had taken him hours to get it all figured out. He shouldn't get desperate now - that could possibly ruin the entire wiring, and there would be hell to pay for that.

Thankfully there wasn't much left to do, except bundle up and secure the wires and attach it to an outlet, then secure and plug in a few devices, before climbing down the ladder and folding it up, taking it to a private supply room. It had taken him eight hours. At least the money he'd make would pay his rent for a few months.

Just as he was about to head to Dream's office to let him know his work was done and for it to be tested, the face-recognizing camera picked up on a criminal and started the alarms. Guards rushed past him almost immediately.

Blue's eyes widened for a second. Dream hadn't known he finished so this couldn't be a drill. He turned tail and ran out of the lesser-used hallway, seeing him.

The all-too-familiar human, heading towards the jail, slamming guards left and right, against the wall, against each other, blue strings wrapping and twisting, changing target constantly.

Blue's breath escaped him.

_He hadn't seen him in so long._

Blue's glitching eye started acting up as he realized, this is a chance, maybe his only chance, maybe he could talk to Error again. What to do, what to do-

It's was like Blue's body moved on it's own accord.

Blue took a shortcut to the entrance of the jail. He saw four guards there, ready for the criminal they suspect is on the way. Blue was quick to slow his pace and act casual. “Good evening,” he hummed.

The guards looked at Blue like he grew a horn on his forehead. “Hey, get out of this hall!” a particularly old looking bird tweeted. “I have a feeling it's Error that's coming, and we don't want civilians hurt!”

Blue raised an eyebrow. “Whatever do you mean?” The bird, in good heartedness, tried to interject, but Blue continued. “Dream announced there would be a drill today after the security alarms were set up and for everyone not to panic.”

The other three guards flushed with embarrassment. The purple bird looked at Blue for a second, processing his words. Her look almost made Blue uncomfortable - like she was trying to see through him, but she hesitantly nodded. “My mistake. I shall let all the guards know,” she mentions, walking away from the entrance of the jail cell, the other three stumbling behind her. Without the guards posted at the door, the jail was free to enter. Blue quickly hid in a corner in the jail itself, out of view from pedestrians lest they went into the double doors of the jail.

Blue ended up lucky - as not a minute later he heard Error’s signature humming to an unknown beat. Promptly, the glitch opened the door and Error walked in, his strings dissipating.

He was here, Error was here, right before his eyes. A gasp escaped him before he could contain it, and Error heard him, looking and staring at Blue.

Seconds felt like minutes as his soul practically beat out of his chest.

“Error-”

Error tensed up and snapped at Blue. “Why the fuck are you here, of all places?”

Blue gulped but didn't reply. He found himself half-questioning why he’d gone through all this to see him.

“Well?” Error was growing impatient, the glitches starting to speed up.

Blue opened his mouth, some words coming out and some trying to force back into his throat, “I-” He took a deep breath, more words coming to his throat as he let his feelings take over. “Error, I know I was never the greatest when we lived together, but I miss you dearly. I can’t stand being without you. I’ve never felt so lonely in my life until after you left. Error,” He walked up to Error, stopping just a foot away as to not freak Error out. “I love you, I really do. I wish you would come back. If you do, I promise I’ll be the best partner I can. No manipulation, no tricks. I can no longer bear to see you suffer.”

Error was silent, staring at Blue’s pleading face. Blue couldn’t read his former friend’s expression, but a part of Blue tugged at him, wishing this was all a dream; that he would wake up in his home, bringing Error a nice breakfast in his cinnamon and mint smelling room; the glitched human happily knitting and greeting Blue’s presence with a blowing kiss-

“Absolutely fucking _not_ ,” Error broke Blue from his thoughts. “You’ve done your damage. I can’t trust you’d actually treat me like a normal person. And don’t make me laugh. You _love_ me? Ridiculous. Why in the _hell_ would someone who has _abused me_ for so long suddenly have some sort of affection for me?! I’ve fallen for your tricks too many times. There’s no way in fucking hell I’d believe this one. Fuck off before this gets messy.” Error growled, clenching his fists as the glitches sped up to the point error signs had started to fill his eyes.

Blue stood there, speechless at what Error had thrown at him. Before he knew it, tears had started to spill from his eyes before he realized he was crying. He gulped at the lump forming and nods. “I-...” any form of objection quickly left him, and he nods. “Alright,” Blue hates how his voice sounds like he's already sobbing though not far from the truth, a few teardrops rolling as he strolls past Error, heading to Dream's office. He quickly told Dream how he'd finish and just did a drill, everything works fine and in turn Dream wrote a check and told him he was dismissed. Blue nods, walks out of the magic-blocked room and opening a portal to his home, unlocking the door to his home and feeling how empty and lonely it's presence was.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Us: this will update regularly  
> Our two jobs: are ya sure about that
> 
> tbh this was more the format I (Paw/Drew) was thinking of when uploading this so chapters might change around idk
> 
> Warning the heavy stuff is incoming aka: panic attacks and blood and a bit of dissociation woohoo
> 
> Fox hath only proofread the first scene with nightie cross and blue due to free time, or lack thereof

"I remember Error angrily yelling about how you approached him," Nightmare mentioned. "I never saw him yell before then."

"If my memory serves me correctly, it was scary as fuck," Cross gets off his seat to get milk, frowning when he opens the door to the fridge and there was no more milk for his hot chocolate.

Blue rubbed their temple. "Looking back, it was kinda stupid. Let me talk though, I think you'll understand why I said what I said."

**\---**

He could faintly realize his tears, heading up to his room with his head down, opening a door and stepping inside. That oh-so-familiar scent catches in his throat.

Whoops. Wrong door.

 _“You_ love _me? Ridiculous.” - “You just kept breaking my mind and tearing me apart from the inside out.”_

_“There’s no way in fucking hell I’d believe this one.” - “You think of how you can manipulate them and put them to the ground.”_

_“Why in the_ hell _would someone who has_ abused me _for so long suddenly have some sort of affection for me?!” - “You fell in love with who you abused. We could have been something."_

Blue swallowed thickly. He knows he should go back, get into his room, but his body doesn't listen. He dares to walk into the room, feeling the still, dusty air around him. Boxes line the walls in an orderly fashion, nothing on top of any of them aside from one another.

Except for one box, with a picture frame facing backwards

Blue has seen it. He knows it too well what it contains, but does not stop himself as he walks closer to it. He knows he doesn't like to see it, that it hurts him too much. But he still touches it, grabs it, and brings it closer to his body, turning the frame.

It's a photo of him and Error, with Error’s signature grin and flushed face. Error had closed his eyes when the picture was taken, but Blue had kept it regardless.

_Why do you flatter yourself with ever calling yourself a friend? Why do you flatter yourself with the possibility of being a lover?_

_You're disgusting and manipulative._

_Worthless in Error's eyes._

It sends pain through him - not one of physical pains, but of emotional. His vision gets blurry and only when a few droplets of tears fall onto the glass does he figure out he's crying even harder.

He places down the frame, this time the glass on the box instead of facing the wall, as he backs away. He closes the door as quickly as he can to get rid of the memories and to get the damned smell out of his throat. 

And unable to even make it to his room Blue _wept_ , full of despair and heartbreak, in the hallway, sobs wracking him and making his mind feel light as a cloud yet chest heavy as a rock, his mind bouncing in all directions, until the tears stopped flowing and Blue finally, almost pathetically, willed himself off the floor and onto his bed. Error’s words still piercing through his mind but due to him wasting his energy on crying, he passed out to a dreamless sleep.

\---

It had been… a while. A few months, in fact, since he'd seen Error or set foot in JR again. He refused to go since then. Not again, not after the last time.

The soft clanking of silverware against a plate is all that is heard. Blue is looking straight ahead hoping that Error is on the other side of the small table - but he's not there, just a vacant chair on the opposite of him. The silence during mealtime is something not uncommon, neither him nor Error talkative during meals. But it feels out of place now, unwelcome.

It had been a few months, almost a year now, since Error had left. Even now, he couldn't let go. He longed to feel Error’s presence and it only serves him to feel more isolated.

Quite ironic, really. To the point where it hurt.

Blue finished his meal, cleaning his plate, his silverware, his cooking utensils. In a weird, unknown way, the water running on his hands felt nostalgic. Blue shakes his head and dries his hands and checks the clock. Seven pm.

He should probably go to sleep. But as he walked up to his room, just before he passed Error’s previous room, he stopped.

He blinked at the door, then turned around and walked away, his mind starting to feel muddied from all his jumbled thoughts and aching soul. He needed to calm down, this was becoming a problem.

He went out the front door, deciding on walking and looking at the stars would clear his mind, wanting to head to his special spot, but-

_Error squinted his eyes, trying and failing to see the stars and galaxies. Blue was watching him in mild humor, before handing Error his glasses. “You'll need surgery for that soon…”_

Blue stopped, gulping. Maybe not for right now, he suspected, as he turned back around, deciding staying in the house would be better.

Blue couldn't tell if he was better or worse inside the house. His mind kept spiraling. _Error hates me, I have no friends, I'm all alone, nobody cares, would it matter if I wasn't here, nobody would notice, why am I like this... why did I do this… why did i have to be such an asshole… why can't I get over him…? Why…_

_Why did I have to fall in love with him despite knowingly hurting him?_

_Why did I even abuse him in the first place?_

He started gripping his head at the aggressive thoughts, feeling tears welling up in his eyes he couldn't keep back.

_He could see Error grip his head, tears streaming down the other's face. Blue was leaning on his doorframe, a façade of worry on his face. "Why are you crying?"_

Blue gasped as he clutched his head tighter. _No, no no no. No memories. Nothing. Error doesn't exist. Who even is Error? No no not working not working-_

He scrambled for some sort of stability - some form of familiarity or comfort to ground him. The smell of food in the kitchen was fading. Not comforting not comforting not familiar not familiar need something comforting need-

Blue was now gasping, feeling his throat burn and his stomach churn, the smell of half-digested food in the air as he felt something warm run down his palm. He was in the front of the kitchen sink and something about it wasn't right. It felt like it wasn't enough, and he wasn't going to stay for long. It wasn't enough it wasn't enough itwasn’tenough _itwasn’tenough **itwasn’tenough-**_

He didn't realize it until after the effect kicked in.

It took a few moments for him to fully register that there wasn't warm water on his hand. No, the tap wasn't even running.

It was his own blood.

Blue started to freaked out, looking at his hand and how it bled steadily, and in a frenzy searched for first aid in the bathroom. Sloppily sticking his palm under the tap of the bathroom sink, the blood washed away, resurfacing before going down the drain again - until it gave up the battle and stopped flowing freely. He bandaged it up, relieved to see it wasn't staining anything as he felt his panic subside and replaced with a strange calmness he never felt before.

It was almost synthetic feeling. The tranquility wasn't real.

Blue couldn't feel bothered by that, strangely.


	8. yummi

Nightmare gave Blue a strange look. "Wait… so that's…"

"How I look now, yes, that's um… that's how it started."

Cross' eyes focused on Blue, as if reading them. "I remember when you first came here, how Nightmare worried about how you could get from upset to calm in… Gosh... didn't know the implications at the time, though now…" Cross rubbed a hand through his hair.

Blue waved their hand and looked away from both of them. "No worries, Cross. You couldn't have known. I kept it hidden. I don't do it anymore, though, there's no reason to and even if there was, I don't need it anymore. I have better coping mechanisms now."

Nightmare sighed. "That's a relief. Seeing them always worried me."

Cross twisted his head towards Nightmare. "Wait, since when did you start seeing them?"

Mischievous grin on Nightmare's face, Blue knew what Nightmare was going to say before he said it.

"It's not just Error that causes Blue's bed to creak, and I'm sure I won't be the last person to do it to them too."

God damn it, Nightmare, stop making it obvious.

**\---**

In his weird... he didn't know what to call his episode of uncontrollable emotions, but somewhere near the end of it, he had thrown up in the sink. He had grabbed the drying knife that was sticking out in the dish drain for leverage by accident, and that's why he's now washing half-digested food left in the sink and blood on a knife. After that, he left the kitchen and went up to the bedroom, unceremoniously slumping on his bed, not tired, yet strangely exhausted.

Before Blue had gone down for a nap, he notes that he'll have to be more careful with placing those knives.

He'd never have that happen again. It scared him too much.

\---

He saw Error.

Well, technically, he didn't _see_ Error. It was on the TV - playing in the background as he cooked. It wasn't something he was paying attention to, just another news channel to him, reporting about Justice Reigns and something or other, maybe about agriculture or a marketplace or whatever. He wasn't paying attention to it.

Then, suddenly he heard Error's voice. Mixed with Cross and Nightmare, but he did. It was loud, it was playful, and it startled him as he was chopping a carrot and he cut his finger.

He hissed and rinsed his finger and knife off in the sink, putting the knife in the dish drain for now as he rushed to the bathroom to put ointment and a band-aid on his finger. As he walked back, he stared at the TV.

He knew he shouldn't - that he's already had a bad day as it is - but he can't help it.

Error's smile reaches his eyes, into a real smile Blue can't really recall ever seeing on Error's face. Another thing he noted is that even with Cross or Nightmare brushing up against Error, the haphephobic male doesn't jump away from the contact like he once did for Blue. No, not only that - he's actively _touching_ Nightmare as Cross chops one of those yellow banners with his unreasonably large knife, before promptly shredding it, pissing off Dream.

And fuck, Blue's not even going to hide it anymore - even when in the middle of chaos, Error looks gorgeous.

Strangely, though… he knows he should be feeling something else besides longing. It was a weird feeling, one that felt almost clumsy. He tried to focus on that unknown need to feel something else, and it slips through his hands like water.

He stares at the T.V. screen long after it turns to static.


	9. *Robotic tts voice* dot dot dot dot dot dot do

The front door opens and the trio look to see Error has come back with a few grocery bags in hand. He walks to the kitchen and puts the bags on the counter. "They were completely out of milk, so you're going to have to use water for your hot chocolate."

Cross pouted and crosses his arms, "It's nowhere near creamy and rich with water!" He complained. It takes all of Blue's might not to roll their eyes at the childish antics.

"So what's up?" Error asks as he puts away eggs and strawberry preserves and starts to wash a few vegetables. "I hope you've been good, Blue."

Blue can't help but snicker. "Don't worry daddy, I've been a good boy."

Nightmare howls with laughter. It's not often they use the word 'boy' to describe themself, but it's an inside joke and it wouldn't be as funny if Blue referred to them as 'child'. Cross looks confused and, dare they say, flustered. Error pauses rinsing bell peppers to shoot a disapproving look at Blue, but it's easy to see Error is trying to cover his laughter. 

Cross settles with putting a hand on his face, covering his eyes and ineffectively hiding how his pale face was turning purple-pink. "I don't need to know bedroom stories."

"Oh, guess Error and I have to get it on with Blue later!" Nightmare yowled in laughter, "You aren't escaping from such knowledge!"

"Oh, fuck me…" Cross mutters.

Error giggles, almost unheard over Nightmare slamming his fist on the table from laughing. "Blue might take up on that offer."

Cross moves his hands away from his face and stares owlishly at Blue and Error. "Um-"

"OKAY!" Blue shouts, desperate to change the subject. "Continuing on with the story!"

**\---**

God, he hates the warmer months.

Sure. Heat waves, not being cool enough at night and wanting to just lie in a bed of ice and sleep until fall is bad in itself, but there's something about summer that Blue doesn't like to think about.

It's the anniversary of when Error... left.

He didn't need to see a calender to know what day it is. The air feels suffocating and the temperature is too warm. He tried to take his mind off it - make himself a nice icy drink to cool him down. Useless. The only thing that was good on the TV was a movie Error particularly liked. Then he tried to bake, but the smell of cinnamon as he added it to the carrot cake made him gag and feel nauseous and fuck, it's happening again.

He clutches at his body - his arms, his hair, his shoulders, his whatever, but it wasn't good enough, it isn't grounding, stability everything is spinning everything is spinning dizzy dizzy dizzy swimming swimming swimming-

He gagged again and felt more saliva come forth, warning him he might just throw up, not good he throws up during bad attacks, shit his stomach hurts, and now he can't breathe again, now mouth taste terrible and throat burns and shit will this ever end shit shit shit-

He gasped again and felt himself still feeling like gagging, but he's feeling less dizzy and able to think clearer, but the smell of cinnamon is still in the air and he'll have to deal with his vomit later because it's already making him spiral and he's already crying heavily. He heaves himself off the floor, gripping the counter and coming face-to-face with the self-sharpening wooden knife holder.

It made him think of something about before. He threw up. He grabbed a knife by accident. That strange feeling.

He wondered for a second.

Could he feel better if that happened again?

The thought disturbed him, but… it was worth a try.

He grabbed a knife, didn't care which one, and going to the bathroom- _away from the cinnamon smell, close to the first aid_ -

He stared at the mirror. He looks like shit. Sweat on his skin, hair amess, clothes wrinkled. He doesn't feel right either.

He rolls up one of his button-up shirt sleeves. He looks at the knife, how it gleams.

How it got bloodied.

Blue took a deep breath, feeling his panic starting to well up again, and he quickly slices his forearm. He immediately hissed and jerked the knife away, seeing as a few tiny droplets started forming on the cut. It hurt, even for something superficial, and he wondered why he even did this in the first place-

Then he felt it.

He relaxed, the pain lessening on the cut, and he took another deep breath, feeling the panic finally subside. He closed his eyes and let himself be dragged under the calmness.

Soon the cut hurt a bit more and so he started washing it and applying medication, bandaging himself up. He thought he should be bothered by this, but didn't linger of the thought when he felt so much more calm then he had in lord knows how long.

It was amazing how little he cared about _slicing himself open_ once the calmness set in.

But he wasn't stupid either.

 _This will be the last time_ , Blue tells himself.

_I can't make a habit out of this._

\---

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Dirty liar.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.


	10. I heard humans taste like pork (and i thought we were chicken!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i thought there was extra added to the cannibalism area  
> huh  
> obviously not my best work  
> tw for self harm, cannibalism, dysphoria and dissociation

He blinked down at the calculator, then at the piece of paper he was writing on.

It didn't make sense. Wasn't he supposed to have enough money to pay for his bills and for food?

He stared, and the numbers added up to the same amount as it did last time.

25.

25 fucking dollars left.

That was all he had for money for food for a month.

Blue gulped and rubbed his temple, trying to calm himself down. He… he could extend it- only two meals a day, maybe less working out. Or he could… he could find a gig to do- but the chances of Dream letting him work something again so soon is currently slim…

Later in the first week, he started feeling strangely hollow inside, no matter how much water he drank. Then the start if the second week he started having hunger pains.

The next month, he was barely able to scrape by on bills and had next to nothing for food.

It was midnight in the first week of zero food when he felt it. It started as a small tinge, but he got up to get water and hoped it went away.

It didn't.

It got worse. Blue started to hiss as he clenched his stomach. It felt like something was crawling around and eating his stomach. It hurt so bad. It only got worse from there. It felt like clawing, tearing, Blue started shaking, it hurt it hurt it hurt-

Another lurch of pain and Blue felt tears stinging his eyes. He needed something. He needed to eat. It hurt. It hurt so much. He was craving so much. He needed something- _anything_ \- he needed something-

Before Blue realized it, he was chewing at his own skin. He blinked, looking at the hand in his mouth. He's heavily chewed it up and it hurts, but it made his stomach feel better. So he kept chewing it. His bones hurt when he clenches his jaws too hard, and his skin screeches in agony from his abuse. But he keeps chewing.

He tastes iron. He pulls out his hand. He's bleeding. He feels himself not feeling good about this, but his stomach gives him a bit of hell and he obediently continues chewing.

He tastes hints of pork over the iron taste.

He chooses to ignore it.

Later - after gulping at least a good half cup of his own blood, and his hunger pains have went away - Blue panics. The sight of how badly he chewed his own hand doesn't sit right with him, and he ends up starting to spiral. He's still in the kitchen as he washes his hand, the stinging from his eating getting bad and it hurt so much and _is that bone?!_ \- 

He looked at the same damned knife sharpener, could feel something else squirm inside him, a dark feeling, and he grabbed the sharpest knife and started tearing his arm with the chewed up hand.

It hurt. So bad. So, so bad. Tears streamed down his eyes and his stomach felt not right from drinking _his own blood_ and _eating his own muscle_.

But then the endorphins, so much more then he ever felt before, came and he felt instantly better.

He looks at his mutilated arm.

He licks up the blood.

And then Blue said goodbye to the thought of never doing this.

\---

It was early in the morning when his phone rang.

 ~~He~~ looked at it, half dazed and half unfocused. He felt he should be able to read what was on the caller I.D., but just… Couldn't.

He picks up the phone instead. "Hello?"

It's Dream on the other line, ~~he~~ realizes. "Greetings, Blue. I'm building a new wing for residents, but I don't want it to be unsafe for the residents. I need you to do the security cameras again while there's no electricity running through. When's a good time for you?"

Blue feels brain-dead. "Tomorrow at four is good."

"Alright then. Come to my office once you've come by and I'll show you the blueprints where I want the cameras at."

Blue moved the phone from his ear as the call ends. Feeling disconnected, ~~he~~ sets an alarm for that time.

 ~~He~~ then sits on his bed. It's early. ~~He~~ swings ~~his~~ legs, looks at ~~his~~ boxers, looks at ~~his~~ undershirt. ~~He~~ looks at ~~his~~ chewed hand, clenching it and being thankful that no, ~~he~~ didn't bite through ~~his~~ muscles and exposed bone. But it still didn't feel right. ~~He~~ feels… disconnected. Not entirely in ~~his~~ own body.

No, not only that. ~~His~~ own body doesn't feel right.

 ~~He~~ decides to go back to sleep.


	11. days Drew wished to work at the counter: 0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw blood anf self harm anf all thag yada yada blue suffers

Tomorrow came soon, and four o' clock came sooner, but that's alright ~~it's not, he feels panicky~~ and during his own work a strange-looking fox creature yelled at him about something ~~he doesn't know what, can't help but feel it's like a certain someone he knows that's yelling at him instead of that creature~~ and he just kept getting more and more discouraged from some of the others around him working on this, giving angry remarks that aren't even directed at him, and he soon ends up behind on his work, ends up getting a number of stares from others as they leave the construction site ~~they all hate him, they're all judging him, he can't even fit right in his own body...~~

It became too much too quick. He was sloppy with his wiring. But it didn't matter anymore.

He needed relief.

His pocket knife glinted in the low light of the moon from the open, gaping windows, rolling up his sleeve.

And he went to town.

**\---**

Blue's voice goes quiet as they think about what happened after that. Error had listened intently and noticed how Blue went quiet.

"Want me to continue it? Or do you want to wait to tell the rest?" The glitch offers. 

"Uh- can you continue?" Blue gulped, rubbing a hand through their hair as Error sat down on the seat next to them. Error rubbed Blue's back in a soothing manner, reaching up and playing with their hair that made them sigh softly and close their eyes.

"Alright, so continuing where they left off, they were building a new part of the castle, and I had to break your ass out, Nightmare…"

**\---**

There was a small breath in the dim, moonlit hallways.

Error nearly summoned a bunch of strings, but upon encountering no one, he managed to calm his beating heart. Nobody should be here in this time and place, and due to the lack of electricity (they didn't even have _lights up_ , for goodness sake), there shouldn't be any cameras to discover his ass.

But something about the lightest of breaths - like someone else was here, for reasons not so far off from his, figuring out somebody else was here and ending up doing what Error is doing - being as quiet and still as possible. Error however didn't think too much on that idea. It seemed too awfully specific, and besides, who would be out here in this hallway at this time without reason? Error shrugged it off and passed off the noise as his imagination as he continues walking down the hallway towards a main room.

He can hear it this time, the shaking breath, and he can see someone too - a silhouette in the darkness. It takes a second for his eyes to adjust to the moonlight, but when it did, he recognized something. That hair color, that scarf-

His breath leaves him.

In reality, Error is innocent. He was just trying to hide from guards and security cameras and figure out how to break Nightmare’s sorry ass from jail, so he didn't know he'd step into a situation like this and wasn't seeking one either.

In any case, it's not something he expects.

But this is nothing he could be mistaken with.

Absolutely nothing. It isn't ambiguous in the slightest, it cannot be misinterpreted, it cannot be mistaken for anything else, even with Blue's skill in lying. But in any case, Blue isn’t even trying; he is just sitting there, one knee on the ground with his other foot on the ground, looking like a deer in the headlights with blood dripping on the floor.

There's _blood_ fucking _everywhere_.

There’s blood on his outfit too, and, worse, there is a pocket knife lying on the ground within arm's reach, its shape obvious and metallic blade dulled by the dark crimson.

Error freezes.

He isn’t the type to freeze when head to head with an uncomfortable situation. He is the type to jump and flee and come up with strategies to escape or, at absolute necessary, attack. He doesn’t freeze.

Except, apparently, when he finds his - rival - former companion - ex-friend? - slitting his wrists over the slick tile at a unfinished and currently inaccessible area of the castle.

In Blue’s defence, nobody is here at this time and this location. Any monster or human who has a home here has more brains than to walk through a _dimly lit area to an unfinished housing area of the castle_. But also it is hardly a defense at all, because no one should really be defending... this.

(The words _self harm_ does not sit right in Error’s mind. He tries to focus on them, and they messily slip away like water with oil, because _Blue_ and _self harm_ shouldn’t even come within the same _sentence_ ).

Blue manages to recover from his shock, avoiding eye contact and hiding his arms as best he can under his scarf, but the wounds are now dripping onto his scarf and shirt in a steady rhythm. "You aren't… supposed to be here." His voice is shaky and he's gasping every other word.

"What the fuck," Error says.

"Uh," Blue says, an edge of panic in his tone. Error looks at the tile - there's an alarming amount of blood, and Error can see that Blue looks unsteady from how he's struggling to stay upright, despite not even standing. He doesn't focus on that, instead looking at Blue when his arms fall to his sides. "Can you get…. The gauze? … Over there." Blue gestured vaguely in a direction.

There, true to his word, is a roll of white gauze, next to a ladder that someone hadn't folded and put away yet. Error didn't know if JR supplies medical supplies in housing, but even if they did, it wouldn't make sense to have any outside rooms offer supplies if the rooms aren't done yet, which means Blue brought them with him, which means he was going into this abandoned part of the castle with the intent to- to-

Error passes the bandages. Blue takes them and then wipes his arm on his shirt. It stains the fabric and blood just comes back to pool around the wound. Blue settles for just haphazardly wrapping them, squirming under Error’s gaze.

It didn't look like the first time he wrapped them while still bleeding heavily.

"You c- c-an leave," Blue says once he finishes, and it sounds more like _leave and forget this ever happened._

Error doesn't follow orders.

"For someone who hates physical fights," the glitch says, "it's no wonder you’re pretty fucking shit at first aid."

Blue doesn't answer, but he looks at Error uncertainty. Error doesn’t know what he wants to do more – roll his eyes or wrap Blue up in strings.

He does neither.

"Gimme that."

He uses a few strings to grab the gauze out of Blue's hand and off his loosely wrapped arm. First aid comes easy - guards have been rough with him, even with the restriction of harming criminals during a capture unless the circumstances call for it. Unfortunately, with magic that Error has, that's mostly the case. He's had to bandage himself up on more than a few occasions, so he has Blue’s wrists bandaged in less than a minute. It‘s a ridiculous sight - Error is controlling his strings to wrap up Blue’s arms while Blue is looking anywhere but at him, and there’s still blood all over the floor and some on his clothes, and it feels macabre like things like this often do in dimly lit unfinished housing areas - but Error doesn’t dwell on what they must look like to an outsider. There shouldn’t be one in any case.

"Done," Error says. He sounds calmer than he feels as he retracts his strings. Blue inspects the bandages.

"Th… thanks?" Blue cautiously answers.

"Don’t mention it."

Both of them pause.

"Actually, no. No. Do mention it. What the hell was that, Blue?!"

Blue doesn't reply immediately, as he starts to breathe in and out quicker, and Error can recognize he isn't really taking in air. Blue doesn't look Error in the eyes, but he could see the feeling of panic in Blue's eyes, an old friend of his and Nightmare's.

"Something you… weren't… supposed to see," Blue wheezes and takes a deep breath, trying to get himself off of his knee and onto both feet, but he's so unsteady he falls.

Error catches him before he hits the ground, and _shit_ the blood on Blue's shirt is slightly wet against his skin and makes him shiver with a gross and horrified feeling.

Then he feels Blue's ribs, not too exaggerated but he _knows_ it shouldn't be that prominent. He pushes down, ever so slightly, and there's not a lot of resistence from skin and muscle and he could feel the hardness of bone.

It scared him that someone this thin has lost so much blood.

Even worse, Blue's frame is shaking, too, and he feels… cold.

(Error tries to say it's just the blood, not his actual body heat that's cold, but that only serves to scare him more, that he's covered in so much of his own blood that he's gotten chilled.)

His original mission on breaking Nightmare out bumps down the list, as a new priority came up. Knowing he'll likely regret this later, he opens a portal to where Blue lives (he can feel the horrors of memories crawl upon his skin, but he ignores it. He can't just let someone die, not even Blue.)

He steps into the living room and can feel the memories wash back like a tidal wave. The dark wood on the floor, the living room couch and loveseat, that sleek black table right next to the kitchen-

Somewhere in the back of his mind, it reminds him that he's _touching Blue_. Not caring if the blood'll stain it later, Error puts Blue on the couch, biting the inside of his cheek as he figures out what to do. Even with the tight bandages, he can still see that blood is pooling up to the surface of the wounds, staining the white gauze and in some places, now dripping down.

He can taste the copper as he bit his cheek too hard, heading to the bathroom. If he remembers correctly, the first aid is in the cabinet right under the sink. As he reaches for it, it's lighter then he remembers, and when he opens it up - yeah. It has a lot less supplies.

He looks over at the trash basket right next to the sink out of habit, and he can see all the used bandages and another wrapping of gauze with an alarming amount of blood on it, too.

It really makes him want to scream. He doesn't.

Hauling the first aid back to the living room, Blue is out cold and as he feels for a pulse and how he's breathing, Error notices he's warmer, even if not by too much. It's an improvement, and Error is willing to take it over nothing.

Blue's sleeves has dropped down partially, so he pushes them up. In the light, he can see something he didn't notice before.

Blue's hands - they're all chewed up.

Multiple dots connected. How thin Blue is. How cold Blue's getting. How out of breath Blue is. How unsteady Blue is. Error can feel his stomach churn and before he could really get to a more appropriate place to chunder, he vomits. He crouches in front of the couch and spews on the dark wood floor.

and they're definitely more stained. He takes care on taking them off, thankful Blue is asleep so blood isn't pouring out of him, though now he can see it.

Small scars, some red marks that have healed but the skin hasn't truely recovered, and a number of scabs, along with the big gashes from just recently. It's been going on for a while now.

Error doesn't want to think of when or how it started, so he doesn't. Probably for the best.

He cleans the stained blood from Blue's skin with a small handtowel rinsed in water, followed quickly by rubbing alcohol. It probably hurts like a bitch, considering Blue is wincing in his sleep. Oh well. Nothing he can really do about that.

Blood is coming out less, and it's more congealed, so he grabs a fresh gauze and wraps it so that it applys light pressure without cutting off circulation. He looks at his work, happy to see the blood isn't staining the gauze, and now considers his options.

He squirms away from any close contact, and starts pacing the room. He could go ahead and leave and break Nightmare out, but he feels there's something missing in this puzzle piece and that he can't figure out on his own. As he considers his options…

".. Error?" Blue is blinking furiously, adjusting to the light as he tries to focus on Error.

Error gulps doen his fear. This is something serious. "Can you tell me why you were doing…" Error gestures towards Blue's arms, "...That?"

Blue's eyes widened as he jumps a bit, sitting completely upright, though he didn't get up.

"Calm down, jeez, I was afraid you would die of blood loss, don't give me a heart attack," Error mentions, rubbing his temple. "Seriously. What the hell was that?"

Blue doesn't reply immediately. Error gives him time to think (he just lost a lot of blood, and on top of that also woke up, he's probably still figuring out what happened), and after a minute or two, Blue speaks.

"I don't know. That was a first for me," Blue says, and his words are carefully chosen. Error raises a brow.

"A first in what context?"

Blue wasn't expecting that. "Um- first time I ever, um, harmed myself."

Error snorted. "I had to treat you again because you were bleeding through the bandages. I saw what I saw and the sight said otherwise." Blue was lying, but why?

"... Why are you asking this?" Blue asked. "It's not like you'd particularly ca-"

Error cuts him off. "Not care? Are you serious? I walk in on you practically half dead, I treat you both in that hallway and in here, and you're saying I don't care? I mean- I do really hate you for whay you did to me, but dear god, you scared me half to fucking death, Blue!"

Blue doesn't look Error in the eye, and after a minute of silence Error gets tired of it. He sighs.

"Look, if this is about the while 'I miss you', just keep it to yourself," Error mentioned.

"It's not entirely that," Blue says. "But it's nothing that would be important to you."

"What is it, then?"

Blue gulped. "Hunger pains. Emotional pain too, I guess."

Okay, emotional pain, probably just a ploy. But- "Hunger pains?"

"The reason I worked for Dream again is to help with money. I've been having a dry spell on my freelance work. I haven't had a lot of food in the past two months."

Error rubbed his eyes in frustration. "And you didn't think to reach out for help?"

"I did think about it. Just…" Blue trailed off.

"You're as skinny as a skeleton, Blue," Error said. "I didn't even need to take off your shirt to know that. I can feel your damn _ribs through your shirt,_ christ."

Blue looked confused. "I am?" He asked. He unceremoniously lifted up his shirt, and clear as day he was. His ribs showed, and it makes Error want to advert his eyes. Blue pulled his shirt back down. "... Oh."

Error sighed. "Blue, you need to take better care of yourself."

Blue doesn't reply. He has a far-away look in his eye, like he's not in the present. It scares Error.

"Blue?"

No reply.

"Blue."

Still nothing.

"Blue!" That seemed to snap Blue out of his daze.

"What?"

"God, I am going to fucking regret this," Error mentions. "Promise me this."

"Um."

"If you reach out to other people for help, or at least take better care of yourself, I'll be your fucking friend again." Error doesn't want to think about how he'll regret this; he wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of Blue dying if something isn't done. "But under one condition: you start abusing me again and I won't hesitate to kick your ass to the curb."

Blue looks at him, somewhat shocked. Error feels shocked himself. Why is he even offering that option to his abuser? Maybe he should bail out of this situation befo-

"That's… that's better then I could have ever wished for," Blue gulps. "I won't do what I've done before. I promise. I fu- fucking promise."

Error, trying not to show he was surprised by Blue swearing, nods. "First I have to break Nightmare out, but once that happens I'm getting you food whether I have to force feed you or not."

Blue's stomach growled a little, and an awkward chuckle paused. "No worries, I'm not a nine year old."

Error shrugs. "I hope not. I'm not going to be treating you gently with kiddy gloves because of this."

Blue nods, understanding, and with that, Error summons a portal. "Oh, and by the way, those cameras are a pain in the dick. Any idea how to get past them?"

"... Did you even think of a mask?"

"... Goddamnit," Error mentions, before leaving.


	12. walmart brand mean girls

"... So THAT'S why you were covered in blood that one time!" Nightmare exclaimed. "Seriously, you are a shit liar. A nosebleed, really?"

Error shrugged with one shoulder, the other used as something for Blue to lean on as he kept playing with Blue's hair. "Keep your voice down, they're asleep."

"'M not," Blue mentioned sleepily. "Just feels… nice… tingly… could fall asleep…"

Error rolled his eyes and checks the kitchen clock. "It's ten am. Aren't you two supposed to be doing something?"

Both Cross and Nightmare did a double table of the clock. "Oh shit!" Nightmare exclaimed, rushing out to the front door, along with Cross. "We have to head out!"

"Huh, wha?" Blue blinked up at them. "What are they doing?"

"Shhh… they're just dealing with Dream, it's nothing to worry about."

"Mmm.." Is all Blue mumbles, before they close their eyes again and drift off.

**\---**

"I fucking had to skid through Cross' stubborn ass and Nightmare's liar detecting emotional radar to make extra for you, so if you don't eat it all, I will string you up by your legs and leave you there for the rest of the day."

Blue opens up an obviously reused styrofoam container and it's rice and pork with some vegetables.

Blue's mouth waters. "Oh my god, this is an actual meal."

"No shit, Sherlock."

Blue doesn't justify that with a response as he digs in. He tries not to go fast, as not to risk throwing up, but the smell and the fact he hasn't been eating well makes that thought go out the window.

"Jeez, Blue, slow down, you're eating it like you won't have another meal for the rest of your life."

"Sorry," Blue says after swallowing, putting down his plastic spork.

"Well, you can't help it, I guess," Error says. He's sitting cross-legged on the grass as he watches the stars. Maybe Blue would've joined him in stargazing, but he's seriously _eating_ after all this time. 

After his meal, he puts away the plastic spork inside the styrofoam container, setting it down next to Error.

"Do you want another serving?" Error gestured towards the other styrofoam container. "It was originally for me, but I ate with them earlier and everything's kinda settled."

"Is that okay with you?" Blue asked, and Error nodded and handed Blue the second container. This time, Blue's able to hold back in voraciously eating, taking smaller bites with less frequency. After he finishes, the feeling of being full is amazing after so long.

"Better?" Error asked.

Blue nods. "I needed that."

\---

"I have the third season of Family Guy."

"Mister Cross McSticky Fingers has every season except for six, and I've watched it enough to practically know every joke."

"I have some rom coms that are terrible."

"What kind of terrible?"

"I have three that are better then Twilight and two of the many babysitting turned love and family stories."

"Pass."

"What about Gaslight? Or one of those Narnia movies? Harry Potter?"

"I like Gaslight, but I've watched it in the past month, seen all the Narnia movies but would prefer to read the books, and Harry Potter is not my cup of tea."

Blue raised a brow. "A Scout's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse?"

"What's that?"

"Oh, two guys wanting to get some action so they ditch a friend. Lots of gore, oneliners, and nudity"

"Hell no. Let's just watch what I have."

"Fine," Blue sighed, as he plopped down on the mattress. He stretched as Error opens the DVD case he brought with him. "You'll like it. It's a… special edition of Mean Girls."

"You can say crack again," Blue murmurs, as Error grabs out the DVD from the case.

"Crack," Error retorts back, causing Blue to exhale sharply in amusement. Error opens the DVD Player.

What starts playing after Error sits next to him is cheesy, high-pitched piano keys in a fast pace.

"MEME SQUAD PRODUCTIONS PRESENT

MEAN GUYS

A PARODY OF MEAN GIRLS"

Blue eyes the words, but he doesn't quite process them. He looks over at Error, who looks like he's straining to not smile.

Wait…

The camera is in a living room.

"Hi my name is Bitchy!" Nightmare, who is wearing a black dress, also has his voice annoyingly high.

"And I'm Pitchy." Cross says, wearing a pink shirt and short jeans. He looks 10000% done.

Error comes into the frame, wearing a black tshirt and normal jeans. "I'm Snog. I'm kissing Bitchy but I'm going to cheat on them with Pitchy soon."

"And I'm going to steal Bitchy's beloved pet dog, which will make Bitchy claw and attack me," Cross says, 100% monotone, holding up a… A fucking rooster. "Oh nooo," Pitchy says as Bitchy starts stiffly walk-running to Pitchy. "Please don't eat my brains"

"No don't worry this is a Twilight parody too not another zombie movie," Bitchy says. Pitchy makes a sigh of relief that sounds awfully close to one of boredom. "Except I'm a vampire."

"Noooooo, you blood sucking bitch, you'll never get me alive," Pitchy doesn't even run as Nightmare grabs the back of his head and starts sucking on his neck like a toothless vampire.

Snog comes into the scene. "Oh no! which vampire babe should I choose now?"

Bitchy shrugs. "Why not both?"

Pitchy also shrugs but sounds 100% done. "Why not bang two bitches at once."

The rooster looks 100% done too, and it screeches.

 _ **"RRRRR-RRR-RRR-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-"**_ "

The screen goes black.

"Fin."

Blue blinks at the screen.

And he and Error burst out laughing. Not even a giggle, or light amusement. It's crying laughter. He thinks he's snorting, or maybe that's Error. He doesn't know. His gut hurts. He has to constantly suck in air.

It's the best laugh he's had in a while.

It's amazing. He's watching weird shit with Error, he doesn't even hate that he does. Error is laying on him as Blue lies on the couch. They both are calming down from their laughter. It's perfect, the soft breathing and relaxation. He could really stay like this, perhaps even fall asleep, it's perfe-

Error scrambles on top of him, and Blue ends up with knuckles digging into his stomach. His middle tenses up as Error hastily hoists himself up. "Hey, careful, there isn't too much padding there."

"Sorry."

The moment might be ruined now, as Blue grips his stomach from the pain, but he's still happier then how he was before.


End file.
